It’s been awhile since I’ve posted but I’ve been consumed with a lot of frustration and anxiety about the “societal norms” surrounding my womanhood, my purpose and value, and my plans regarding procreation that writing a blog post is the only way I know how to share my thoughts and feelings on the matter, without interruption, in hopes of changing people’s behavior and perspective.
I am 27. I have been in a relationship with my best friend, Benjamin, for almost nine years. We have been married for almost three years. Since the day we committed ourselves to each other, we have always had the intention of getting married, starting a family, and building a life together…. a life that WE wanted to build not what others wanted to build for us. Our relationship was rather unconventional from the start because we lived 900+ miles apart and we did so for 3.5 years. Our independence was extremely important to us. Having our own identity was extremely important to us. Having our own careers was important to us. We made a long distance relationship work because of the affection and adoration we had for each other, the unwavering trust we had for each other, and the constant communication. All this being said, Benjamin and I alone (and God) have built a foundation of understanding, respect, intimacy, and love, and we have done so without the background noise of unwanted opinions, inquiries, societal pressures, and others impressing their thoughts and beliefs on what they think is best for us. Granted, we value the opinions and advice of the people we love, but we take opinions and advice for what they are… simply, opinions and advice. Not what’s right or wrong or gospel.
We have been raised by the most selfless, patient, supportive, and loving parents, and we are surrounded by the most amazing and compassionate friends. I can confidently speak for both of us when I say that we are so blessed, grateful, and abundantly appreciative of the support, encouragement, and excitement surrounding our relationship and inevitable family planning. By no means is this post directed at one particular person or group of people. However, this is a candid and heartfelt request to everyone in our lives to be more considerate and respectful of our privacy in regard to having children and building our family.
To answer everyone’s burning question, yes, Benjamin and I plan on having children. We want kids and we want to build a family, but it’s not the business of our family, friends, colleagues, and strangers alike to know when we want kids, how many kids we want, whether I plan to breast feed or use formula, how we plan to discipline, how we plan to raise them, and what my plans will be in regard to my career once kids are in the picture. Yes, Benjamin and I have been married for almost three years and we are inching towards our 30s. We are well aware the “clock is ticking” and we are closing in on our window of opportunity for children, especially if we want more than one. We are also very well aware our parents are anxious for grandchildren and our families are chomping at the bit for us to add little ones to the family gatherings. And yes, Benjamin and I are very excited for all of that, too. However, all of this will come in due time and it will happen in the privacy of our own planning and praying.
Now, let me take a moment to own that Benjamin and I have always been extremely open, transparent, and candid about our life plans with anyone and everyone that cares to ask. I’ve never let it bother me and I’ve never harbored ill feelings about people’s inquiries, but as of lately the questions and constant prying into the privacy of our lives has ignited significant unrest for me. Truthfully, I feel most of the questions and inquiries have been targeted towards me, not Benjamin. I’m the one that has to field the persistent nosiness of when I plan to have babies and what I’m doing to prepare for pregnancy. It’s somewhat violating. Quite frankly, I’m exhausted, I’m overwhelmed, and I’m stressed out with everyone’s persistent and constant interest in our plans for children. I hoped that being open about our plans would keep people at bay, but it’s in fact done the complete opposite.
Truthfully, society suffocates me with the scripted timeline and milestones we are expected to accomplish by certain ages, and the expectations of gender roles in relationships and parenting and careers. You graduate high school, you go to college, you hopefully continue to graduate school, you get a good well-paying job, you get married, you buy a house, and you start having children. And then, once you have kids, the man of the house continues to work and be the “bread winner” while the woman quietly assumes the role of “stay at home mom” and sets aside her pursuits of a career.
For the most part, Benjamin and I have stuck to the prescriptive life plan of what society tells us is “normal”. We’ve almost religiously abided by the expectations of what society tells us should be our life plan. But as the years pass and life experiences wear on our hearts, we’ve started to realize that life is simply too short to allow “society” to dictate what our plans should be, how we should feel about or react to things, how we should fit the mold, or how we should prioritize what’s most important. Not to be harsh, but society needs to fuck off and people need to leave us alone. People need to be educated on manners, etiquette, what’s appropriate, and when to mind their own damn business, especially when it comes to pressuring couples about having kids.
I mean the constant assumptions that Benjamin and I (or anyone for that matter) will easily be able to create life and bear children without complications, or issues, or heartache, or disappointment is infuriating. People in this life truly struggle with infertility, miscarriages, and other medical complications hindering the ability to bring life into this world. And honestly, those personal and very private issues are at the discretion of the couple to share, but not to defend or justify or explain unwillingly to people in their life that just can’t shut their fucking mouths and mind their own business. Obviously, I hope that having children will be as easy as everyone assumes, but the timeline, the details, the planning, the praying, the excitement, and all the other waves of emotion that come with creating life should respectfully and understandably be kept between the two people that are making it happen.
I’ve adopted the following list from an article I read on this very topic because it captures all of the issues surrounding why you should never ask couples when they plan on having kids.
1. NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE A PARENT.
2. IT’S THE SAME THING AS SAYING, “SO, HOW OFTEN ARE YOU HAVING SEX?”
3. A WOMAN ALREADY KNOWS WHEN THE “CUT-OFF” FOR KIDS IS, AND REMINDERS WILL ONLY MAKE THEM FEEL WORSE ABOUT IT.
4. SHE MIGHT BE HAVING FERTILITY ISSUES THAT YOU’RE UNAWARE OF.
5. BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS, NOBODY IS “ENTITLED” TO HAVE GRANDKIDS.
6. WHAT A WOMAN WANTS TO DO WITH HER BODY IS UP TO HER, AND HER ALONE.
7. SHE MIGHT HAVE A HISTORY OF MISCARRIAGES.
8. KIDS ARE AN EXPENSE THAT NOT EVERYONE CAN HANDLE.
9. BECAUSE IT’S POSSIBLE THEY JUST DON’T LIKE KIDS.
10. AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
To read the full article, visit: https://www.bolde.com/stop-asking-me-when-going-have-kids/
And so my request to all is, let us be. Let the above list soak in. Think about it. Reflect on it. Allow these 10 things to stop you in your tracks the next time you ask someone when they plan to have kids.
And to tie all of this back to my opening statement:
My Womanhood– Times are different than they used to be. Women are more than just vessels for childbearing. We’re more than housekeepers, cooks, and caregivers. Women are valuable, influential, resilient, intelligent, and very powerful. Women offer more to this world than just our ovaries and uteri. Yes, childbearing and motherhood are very beautiful things, but it’s extremely unnerving that society defines our existence on childbearing alone.
My Purpose and Values– Everyone on earth struggles and wrestles with finding their purpose and value in this life. If we didn’t struggle and wrestle with it, there wouldn’t be mental illness. The epidemic of mental illness in this world, not just the U.S., begins and ends with people losing themselves in the inability to feel important, valuable, and purposeful. Because in those three things, we find belonging and happiness. The issue is that society impresses upon us a value system, a ranking, a standard, expectations… things that lead to judgement, unbelonging, and a constant feeling of comparison and inadequacy. All that being said, we need to stop. We, as a society, need to stop perpetuating these issues.
From this day forward, I refuse to allow others to influence and impress their thoughts and opinions about my purpose in this life…. as a woman and having kids included. I seek purpose and value through my faith, and if God manifests His plan for my life through being a mom then I will happily and humbly oblige. My sole purpose in this life is to chase the plan that God has already so gracefully planned for me. My purpose is not defined by the number of children I able to bring into this world or the mom I will some day be. My purpose is not defined by what my role as a woman should be. My purpose WILL BE DEFINED by what God intends, by the happiness and joy and positivity I can bring to my loved ones, by the friend that I am and work to be, the productivity and value I find in my work, by empowering those that society deems “less than”, by the wife and life partner I am to Benjamin, and so much more. And yes, part of my life’s purpose when the time comes, God willing, will be to love, protect, and care for Benjamin and my children. But I can tell you one thing is certain, there is more to me and my purpose than the mom everyone is anxious for me to be.
My OUR Plans for Procreation- They are just that… they are OUR plans. Thank you for your support and excitement, but stop asking.
My husband and I love travelling and exploring, and simply, just being together. Every summer, we try our best to plan a trip with friends or a trip for just the two of us. This summer, we decided to plan a trip for just the two us to explore the fun, eclectic, and beautiful city of San Francisco, California. We have heard so much about the city, the bay, the attractions, and all the fun things you can do, so we decided to check it out for ourselves. Neither of us has been to California or spent much time out west, so we decided to book a flight and hotel and head west for a one week vacation/exploration to San Francisco, California.
My husband and I are planners but we like to keep our travel itineraries light with plenty of room to fill in the blanks. Now, don’t get me wrong, we always plan out the essentials: flight, hotel, and transportation. However, we leave the rest to curiosity and spontaneity. For San Francisco, we had a pretty comprehensive list of things we wanted to see and do, but as we ventured into one local place after another, we asked the locals to help us fill in the blanks.
We have since returned from our trip and had an absolute blast. My husband and I both agreed that we could not let the details of our trip go without being shared with others to also enjoy, so I’ve committed to sharing our updated itinerary with all the details and tidbits of information we learned from our trip on my blog. The goal is to build a running list of several itineraries we’ve created and experienced to share with readers, but to primarily share the raw and honest details that you don’t always get in your planning efforts.
- The weather is fabulous during the day!
- It’s very easy to get around so there isn’t a need for a rental car. (Unless you prefer to have your own wheels! However, consider this a warning, parking is charged daily and is very expensive, so be prepared to pay a hefty price!)
- There is so much to do and see that you could easily spend four days to a week and a half depending on what you pack into your trip. Needless to say, you will not get bored.
- The people are wonderful and very welcoming. The residents of San Fran and nearby cities recognize and understand the city is a touristy place, but they very much appreciate the business and are happy to share details about their city and great local places to check out. You just have to ask!
- The temperatures are colder in the morning and at night, so dress in layers! This can often be annoying if you plan on being out from morning through evening and don’t plan on pit-stops to your hotel or carrying a backpack. One minute you’re chilly and the next you are burning up. (See second bullet.)
- The hills. The city of San Francisco is built on hills. What you’ve seen in the movies and on TV shows is no joke. The hills are often steeper than 45 degrees. That being said, you might be burning up walking up one of those steep hills, but once you are at the top and catch that wind you are instantly chilly.
- San Fran is a very touristy city. There are people from all over the world that travel to the city for the same reasons we travel to the city: to see what all the talk is about. That being said, the crowds are often big, the sidewalks are busy, and depending on what you have planned there might be lines. (I’m not saying this is a terrible thing, it just requires patience and understanding.)
- San Fran is very expensive. I view San Fran as the New York City of the west coast. Like I said before, it’s a popular destination for tourists from all over the world, so prices are inflated in popular areas such as Fisherman’s Wharf, anywhere along the bay, and around Golden Gate Park. San Fran is sectioned off by districts and I recommend checking out Little Italy (North Beach) and China Town for reasonable prices on food, drinks, and souvenirs.
- There is a lot of homelessness. I am certainly not saying homeless people are bad. However, homelessness is something that is conveniently left out of a lot of travel sites/blogs/etc. when describing certain travel destinations. Homelessness is an unfortunate reality for too many people, and I have found that homelessness populations are greater in high traffic tourist destinations and in places with more consistent weather patterns (i.e. New York City, Tampa, the Carolinas, and California.) All this being said, I think it is important to highlight that homelessness is a serious issue in San Francisco and it requires a level of awareness, understanding, and empathy when you plan to visit the city.
A few quick tips:
Weather (as told by the locals):
- December-May is pretty chilly averaging around 50 degrees Fahrenheit during the day with colder temperatures in the morning and evenings.
- June-August it starts to get a little warmer during the day averaging around 55-60 degrees Fahrenheit during the day with colder temperatures in the morning and evenings.
- September-November is the best time to travel to San Fran because the temperatures are warmer during the day, the wind off the bay isn’t as cold, and the evening temperatures aren’t as chilly.
- Overall, the weather in San Fran is beautiful with blue skies, mostly sunny, and very few chances of rain. Please keep in mind the Pacific Ocean is significantly colder than the Atlantic and Gulf. If you are used to the Great Lakes temperatures, then you will be perfectly fine. I just worry about the Midwesterners, Southerners, and east coast folks that are used to warmer waters. San Fran is on the bay (duh, I know!) and I say this only because the wind coming off the Pacific into the bay is cold and the wind can be ruthless. Be sure to pack layers and a wind-breaker if you have it.
- Walking is the absolute best way to explore the city! Be sure to pack comfortable walking shoes or tennis shoes. You can certainly bring a cute pair of pumps or wedges for a nice evening out to dinner, but don’t plan on wearing those types of shoes during the day. For good foot health, I would also avoid flip flops or shoes without good arch supports. Like I said, walking is the best way to get around the city and you will do a lot of it, so you want your arches, your heels, and the balls of your feet to be supported and comfortable. Flips flops just don’t cut it.
- Bikes are another great way to explore San Fran. There are several different bike rental companies spread out around the city with tons of different “drop off” points. My husband and I biked across the Golden Gate Bridge into Sausalito, and on a different day we biked the Golden Gate State Park to Ocean Beach, Lincoln Park, the Presidio, and dropped them off in the Marina District. We saw several people biking through the city, but I caution biking through the city because of the congestion, busy sidewalks, and smaller roads. It just becomes a little more dangerous. I recommend biking through the Golden Gate Park, along the Presidio, close to the Golden Gate Bridge (or across it), the Marina District, Fisherman’s Wharf, and along the Embarcadero.
- The Pubic Transportation Systemà BART, MUNI, and Cable Cars. This takes a little self-direction and guidance, but it’s worth it. The BART stands for “Bay Area Rapid Transit” and takes you to limited places in the city because it primarily serves as a rapid transit for commuters into San Francisco and surrounding areas. The MUNI is the inner-city bus system that is your best bet for getting around if you aren’t into walking or biking. The MUNI will pretty much drop you off in the heart of the different districts of San Fran such as the Financial, Union, Mission, Civic, North Beach, etc. The Cable Cars, in my opinion, were hard to navigate and required standing in line because they are a popular tourist attraction. It’s worth getting on a Cable Car though just to say you rode one! Google Maps is your BEST friend when navigating the bus routes, stops, and streets you need.
- To and from the Airport. On the way to our hotel from the airport, my husband and I took the BART to the Embarcadero Station on Market Street, which is one of the popular areas in the city. From there, we bought tickets for the “F-Line” (the street car) to Fisherman’s Wharf, which is where we stayed. From the hotel to the airport, we reserved a shuttle service with our hotel concierge that was relatively low-cost and took us directly to the airport.
Sunday, July 2
Flew from Cincinnati directly to San Francisco on Frontier. Frontier is not my favorite airline (that would be Delta for those interested in knowing, haha), but our tickets were priced well and it was a direct flight there and back. For us, Frontier worked out for this particular trip but in case you didn’t already know, Frontier charges $45 for checked bags AND carry-on bags so be prepared when they nickel and dime you.
We arrived to San Francisco, took the BART, MUNI, and F-Line (Street Car) to get to our hotel in Fisherman’s Wharf. We stayed at the Holiday Inn in Fisherman’s Wharf on Columbus Avenue because we got a good rate. I would recommend checking out Groupon, Living Social, AirBnB, and other travel booking sites for competitive rates.
After getting checked into the hotel, we spent the evening walking around Fisherman’s Wharf and indulging in an infamous clam chowder and sourdough bread bowl for dinner.
Monday, July 3
We wanted to grab breakfast at the Hollywood Café but the line was wrapped around the block with no end in sight so we ended up at Darren’s Café, which was very tasty and had great service!
We walked the entire city! No joke. My husband and I walked just over the equivalent of a half marathon on our first day in the city (13.66 miles). We started out in Fisherman’s Wharf and made our way to the infamous Lombard Street (“Crookedest” Street), walked through Russian Hill and then over to China Town. From there, we walked through China Town making our way towards the Financial District, Union Square, the Yerba Buena Gardens, and the Civic Center. After the Civic Center, we walked to the Mission where we stopped for dinner at El Techa (a great rooftop bar) and a few beers at Zeitgeist (see comprehensive list below.) After dinner and drinks in the Mission, we headed for a quaint little bar called “CC’s” just south of Pacific Heights or “Pac Heights.” At CC’s, we experienced the California Special which is a shot of Fernet. I strongly advise anyone and everyone to avoid this shot at all costs. The bartender and a few patrons at CC’s recommended we check out a pizza place around the corner and then head to “Buena Vista” for a famous Irish coffee, so we followed their directions! The pizza place we stopped at was okay, but not good enough to remember. However, the “Buena Vista” bar famous for their Irish coffee earned our business four of the six nights we were there. Again, see bar list below.
Tuesday, July 4
We rented bikes close to Ghirardelli Square and biked the perimeter of the bay following the pathway to the Golden Gate Bridge. From there, we biked over the Golden Gate Bridge, which I highly encourage if you’re up for the challenge. It’s actually not too bad of a bike ride, but there are a few hills you have to tackle. The view from the bridge is absolutely spectacular, but you have to see it for yourself to truly appreciate its beauty. After crossing the bridge, we biked down the hills into Sausalito, which is a quaint little town along the bay with a fabulous view of the city of San Francisco. Restaurants, breweries, and shops decorated the main strip of Sausalito, so it’s safe to say we also enjoyed our time on the other side of the bridge.
We were going to take the ferry from Sausalito back to Fisherman’s Wharf, but the ferry schedule was limited and delayed due to the 4th of July holiday. We ended up grabbing a taxi back to the Wharf, due to timing, because we booked a 4th of July Bay Cruise for that evening. The Bay Cruise was a bust because the fog was really bad that evening so we couldn’t even see the fireworks. That’s okay though! It was a gamble that we took.
Wednesday, July 5
We booked a Muir Woods/Sonoma Wine Country day tour that took up the majority of our day on Wednesday. Muir Woods is a must see if you are making the trip out to California! The redwood trees are God’s work right before you. They are so beautiful and so mysterious at the same time. The only logical explanation is God’s craftsmanship.
After our trip to Muir Woods, our tour bus/guide drove our small group (12 people total) to three wineries and a short trip to the town of Sonoma. Overall, the wineries were great. I mean, it’s wine, right? How can you complain about that? However, Benjamin and I live in Bourbon Country where spirits have a rich history and deep family ties. In my opinion, the particular wineries we visited lacked the history and identity we were expecting or hoping. Our favorite winery we visited was Jacuzzi! If you are making your way through Sonoma, I would strongly encourage you stop at Jacuzzi and check it out.
Thursday, July 6
Thursday was a pretty relaxed day! We were exhausted after three longs days of adventuring and excursions. We slept in and eventually made our way to Starbucks. From there, we walked to the Golden Gate State Park from Fisherman’s Wharf, which is a pretty lengthy walk. Once we got to the park, we rented bikes and biked the monstrosity that is the Golden Gate State Park. The park is enormous with so many different attractions. We took the bikes from the far east point of the park all the way to Ocean Drive. We followed Ocean Drive up to the Cliff House and just kept going. We ended up biking all the way back to the Marina District where we returned the bikes. We staked out a quaint place to take in the gorgeous sunset over the Golden Gate Bridge.
Friday, July 7
We were completely wiped out by Friday so we spent the entire day hanging out in the Little Italy and Chinatown districts just drinking and bar hopping. There is a spunky bartender at Northstar Café in the North Beach district (“Little Italy”) that gave us a laundry list of bar recommendations for that afternoon/evening. We followed suit. Comstock was one of the bar recommendations because on Fridays they give you a free lunch with a purchase of a beer. Granted, you only get one lunch option, but it doesn’t matter given that it’s free. There isn’t much to elaborate on for Friday because the whole day was spent drinking and hanging you at different bars talking and getting to know San Franciscans.
Saturday, July 8
On Saturday, we bought tickets for the cable car so we could closeout our San Francisco experience. Our flight left San Francisco early evening on Saturday, so the day was spent walking around Fisherman’s Wharf for the last time, eating the last of the grub, and packing up all our souvenirs.
What we missed:
The “42 Must See Bars in SanFran” (copied below) became a city guide for us. We planned our day around the districts we wanted to visit and the bars in those districts we had to check out. Let me tell you, we were not disappointed. We shared this list with every bartender we talked to because we needed confirmation that these places were worth our while. The bartenders put their stamp of approval on this list and agreed this is a comprehensive and impressive list for drinking enthusiast.
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives
The Main Attractions:
Golden Gate Bridge
Golden Gate Park (deYoung Museum, California Academy of Sciences, Rose Garden, Japanese Tea Garden, AIDS Memorial Grove, Conservatory of Flowers)
Alamo Square Park & The Painted Ladies
The Mission District
Ride on the Cable Cars and Street Cars
The Castro (Castro St from Market to 18th; birthplace of the LGBT Civil Rights Movement)
The Women’s Building
Murals in the Mission (Clarion Alley)
Monterrey Bay & Aquarium
One of my dear friends, Chelsea Ball, started working for the Ability Experience last year and has inspired me and one of my best friends, Jennifer Jane Farinella, to get involved with the organization and its mission. The weekend of November 10-12, 2017, we will be running in the Geico Rock ‘N’ Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon event raising funds and awareness on behalf of people with disabilities. I am taking on this challenge for many reasons, but primarily to support a dear friend and an organization and cause I care deeply about, The Ability Experience.
Everyone runs for different reasons, but I feel inclined to share with you why I run. Every time my feet hit the pavement, I run in honor of my big brother, Larry E. Tipton (LT2). My big brother suffered and he hurt deeply, and I run in hopes of taking away even the slightest of his pain. I run to be close to him. I run for him and I run towards him. I pray he is with me in every step, in every breathe, and in every beat of my heart. When I run, his pain is my pain. For this particular race, I not only run for him, but I run for people near and far that suffer from any form of pain or disability.
I run for my cousin Kaydin with down syndrome, I run for my cousin Carli that suffers horrible juvenile arthritis, and I run for two of our family friends, the Walters and the Barrs. No matter the pain or disability, emotional/mental/physical, I run for you. I will channel your spirit, your adrenaline, your strength, your love, and your happiness. You are worth it and you are able, and I run for you.
Funds raised by our team will go towards helping athletes with disabilities get the opportunity to experience endurance events like the one in which I will be participating. It is our team’s goal to raise over $25,000 through the Geico Rock ‘N’ Roll event, but I need your help and support to reach my personal fundraising goal of $800.
Together, we can create a community, one relationship at a time, where the abilities of all people are recognized and valued. If you feel in your heart this is a cause you wish to support, I encourage you to donate not only to help me reach my personal fundraising goal but to contribute to a cause that empowers. If you could, please take a moment to make a tax-deductible contribution in support of my half marathon and witness first-hand how your gift will impact the lives of people with disabilities. Please click on the donate button below to be routed to my personal fundraising page.
On behalf of The Ability Experience, my fundraising team, and people with disabilities whose lives will be impacted as a result of your support, I sincerely thank you.
As I reflect on my trip to Belize, my heart turns to scripture because what I learned and experienced on my trip can only be translated and felt through His word.
Family and friends have been asking me about my trip and it’s been difficult extracting the highlights of my trip because, to me, everything is worth highlighting. I went to Belize with the College of Education and Human Development at the University of Louisville as part of an international learning experience trip for our education majors. Our team was comprised of 18 of our best teacher education students, two faculty members, and three support staff. We left early on Saturday, April 29th and returned in the wee hours of the morning on Friday, May 12th. It was a very long and emotionally and physically exhausting trip, but it was a truly life changing experience.
I wanted to share a screenshot of Belize on GoogleMaps for a frame of reference. See below:
Our first few days in Belize were excursion days. We crossed the border into Guatemala to visit and hike the ruins of Tikal in the Tikal National Park. The Tikal National Park is one of the largest archaeological sites of the Mayan Civilization. The structures were so advanced and it was amazing to see how progressive and intelligent the Mayan Civilization was for its time. It reminded me of Pompeii in Italy. If you’re interested in reading and learning more about Tikal and the Mayan Civilization, I recommend checking out this website: http://www.tikalnationalpark.org/
We did a little shopping on the Guatemalan and Belizean border before heading to Cardie’s (our hotel) in Independence, Belize. My days are running together as the weeks have passed since our return, but I think we arrived in Independence on Monday, May 1st. Independence is a bustling little town. There is one main road that runs through Independence with several breakaway neighborhood streets that lead to supermarkets, schools, and other local businesses. Our hotel, Cardie’s, was a modest place with only enough rooms for our travel group. There was an upstairs dining facility where we enjoyed homemade breakfast and dinner every day throughout the week. The wonderful ladies that worked in the kitchen also packed our lunches each day we traveled to the schools. Needless to say, we completely took over Cardie’s for the duration of our stay. Several us enjoyed our evening jogs to the port and rickety wooden dock overlooking the Caribbean Sea.
Tuesday, May 2nd was our very first day in the schools. We divided up into two groups; Group 1 was assigned to teach in the Village of San Pablo and Group 2 was assigned to teach in the Village of Red Bank. See image below. For our first two days in the schools, I went with the San Pablo group where I completely fell in love and left a piece of my heart. The Village of San Pablo is tucked approximately 10 miles into the rain forest surrounded by hundreds of acres of banana farms. The drive into the village is a long, narrow, and bumpy drive down a dirt/dust road, but the stretch of banana farms along both sides of the road is hands down a site to be seen. I learned that the working conditions of the banana farm workers is terrible. It’s a physically taxing job in the unbearable heat of the tropics that pays very little. Now, every time I eat a banana I think about the workers in the banana fields on the way to San Pablo giving it everything they have to make it through the day.
The backdrop of San Pablo was breathtaking. I mean, God’s canvas just came to life as I was staring up at this mountainside soaking in the vibrant colors of the trees, flowers, birds, and skyline. It reminded of a scene from Jurassic Park and I was just waiting for a T-Rex to come barreling down the mountainside.
The three pictures above listed as “School Building” are just that…the school buildings in San Pablo. In Belize, free education only goes through our equivalent of 8th grade. If the Belizean students wish to continue onto to high school, they have to pass all their standard exams, seek approval and support from their family, and find/work for the money to continue seeking their education (similar to how we pay to go to college). A lot of families expect their children to make it through the 8th grade and then start working in the banana fields (or other labor intensive jobs) to help contribute to the household income.
What I loved most about the children in the schools was their excitement and enthusiasm to learn. I feel like students in the states enjoy being at school for the most part, but lack the enthusiasm to learn and expand their minds. In Belize, the students have a genuine appreciation for learning, for being and learning together, and for the opportunity to have an education. On Mondays, the school day always starts with worship in the church building. From there, the standards (grades) break up and go to their respective buildings. Each standard (grade) shares a room and teacher (1 shared with 2, 3 shared with 4, 5 shared with 6, and 7 shared with 8). Can you imagine our 5th graders being in the same classroom with our 6th graders? The learning disparity between the grades is significant (at least in the States), but unfortunately in Belize that’s their only option due to resources, space, and money. I was thoroughly impressed with the teachers and their ability to make the absolute best with what little they have.
Anyways, as I said, I spent the first two days at San Pablo, and then went to Red Bank with Group 2 on the third day. I’m not going to lie, I was really frustrated about going to Red Bank because I didn’t want to be anywhere but San Pablo loving on those kids. However, my experience at Red Bank turned out to be just as wonderful. I ended up assisting one of our UofL students in a Standard 1 and 2 classroom (I think those were the standards). The two of us were in charge of 40-50 four and five-year-old students. I say “in charge” but those students ended up being “in charge” of us. We tried teaching them their numbers but we couldn’t get them to sit still and pay attention unless we bribed them with Skittles. Finally, my student and I decided to take the kids outside to play duck-duck-goose, which turned into a chasing game. Teachers versus kids. There is a video out there somewhere of me being chased by 50 four and five-year-old kids that inevitably ended up with me being tackled to the ground and mobbed by the crazy firecracker energy of these sweet babies. Here are a few photos from my time at Red Bank:
That weekend our group took a day trip to Placencia , a tourist town, to go snorkeling, shopping, and to gather our physical and mental energies to tackle the week ahead of us. It was certainly refreshing to have the time to relax, but all of us were anxious to get back to the schools to spend time the kids. For me, I wrestled with sincere guilt being in Placencia “relaxing” knowing the families and kids in the villages we were serving didn’t have the same opportunity. The families and kids deserved the time to relax much more than I did, but I enjoyed reflecting and being in raw thought nonetheless.
I returned to San Pablo for the remainder of our time at the schools (Monday through Wednesday) and tried to enjoy and appreciate every last second I had with the precious children. It was a bitter sweet experience getting to know and love these kids knowing I would leave them at the end of the week. Wednesday, May 10th was our last day in the schools and there was a somber feeling in the village knowing the seconds were counting down to goodbye. If you know me, you know I’m not much of a public crier, but saying goodbye to those precious souls brought out every possible tear stored inside me. My heart was so full having met them, gotten to know them, and shared invaluable moments together. There were a handful of kids (you can probably tell which ones based on my pictures below) that easily hugged me goodbye ten times. I told a few people that asked about my trip that I have never felt a hug the way I have felt their hugs. When they hug you, they mean it! In closing, it is safe to say that I had an unBELIZEable time and a very humbling life changing experience.
Here are a few of my favorite pictures:
The end. ❤